Aislin’s Day Off

Ok maybe I should start earlier than today. See I got a burr up my ass and I wanted a change so I decided to cut my hair. So yesterday I went to my mom and she cut my hair.
 
Yep I really had her cut it. She took 14in off. All of which are going to Locks of Love. The end result is this.
 
Quite a change. So lets go on to today. I got up this morning and sent my Brett Brett off to work. Then I decided to lay back down, since I was tired. I slept till about noon and then got up to get ready to go see my sis.
 
Instead of having to brush out and braid my hair, I just ran a brush through it real quick and this was the result. Cool huh? I was surprised.

I ran out the door to go see my sis at her work, stopping to get some Starbucks on the way. Mmmm Starbucks.

Then my sis put gel overlays on my nails to strengthen them up so they will grow out more. The only problem is that my knuckles have been hurting me so the ached the whole time. Don’t they look pretty.

After that we were hungry so we went over to KFC to get lunch. I saved the biscuit for Brett since it wasn’t part of my diet.

After that I had to go to the barn and clean stalls. It isn’t that cold yet, I still worked up a sweat cleaning a few stalls.

On my way home I stopped off at Marsh and got groceries. See how neatly everything fits in the back of Shamrock. ^_^

So after I got home I had wash the sweat off from working out at the barn so I took a shower, while my Brett Brett told me about his day. I brushed out my hair and it did it’s curly thing.

So that’s my day off in a nutshell. Tomorrow I have to be in at work at the butt-crack of dawn. It’s kind of sad but at least I had a good day.

Also I have a new food blog, Cook Healthy or Die Hard. Go check it out. Laters! Savvy?

-Aislin

Once again into the land of retail.

So yeah, now that I’m working in retail again I remember how it use to be. The tiredness. The what day is it. The back pain that makes me a massage junkie. But yet I’m comfortable with it. I’m worn out. Getting use to working again. Working out at the barn. Trying and failing to keep up with things around the house. I gave up a day off to get more hours, which makes me grumpy. But I’ll survive.

I went up and saw my grandma. Her birthday is Friday, so I wanted to go spend some time with her. The sink is messed up again. Need to fix it. I also need to tame the jungle that is our flower bed. So much to do, not enough time or energy to do it. Sooo tired. Laters! Savvy?

-Aislin

Oppressive Humidity

That’s what the weather channel describes the humidity in our area as. It’s so bad that our little window air conditioner is spitting water because of condensation.

I have to be at work early tomorrow so I have to keep this short. I have a new job. I’m also working part time cleaning stalls to board Katelin so I don’t have to get rid of her. Though her vet bill from moving her was not nice at all.

I’m still hyped a little from work. I’m working retail again and part-time, but at least it’s something.

Well that’s about all. Time to go wash my face, brush my teeth and hope I can get to sleep fairly quickly. Why am I never tired at night even after a 8 hour shift? Laters! Savvy?

-Aislin

Ups and downs. I guess that’s life.

Ok. I’m writing this while drinking my 3rd Guinness so bear with me on this.

First of all I’ll start with the downs. I don’t want sympathy and I don’t want to talk about it so I’m getting it out once and for all. We have been barely getting by. Living paycheck to paycheck and slowly draining our savings. So I had to make one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make. I’m giving up my horse Katelin. Though I haven’t failed to pay her board, I can’t pay the vet bills if she gets sick or hurt so that is not good for her or responsible ownership. Though all I have ever wanted was a horse and a farm, I must do what is best for her. Brett says that maybe all my role in Katelin’s life was to save her and that’s it. Maybe that’s true, but nothing will take the pain of giving her up go away. I have to do it and that’s all I’m going to say about that.

The ups. Our tax check came in so our savings is back to good. The bills are all paid up and we can now replaced me poor car. We are waiting for a start date on my new job to move forward on a car, but we are close. We are looking at a steal of a little red Chevy manual hatchback. If we are supposed to have it, it will be ours. If not, we will find something. So that’s something to look forward to. I would have liked to have a fenced yard for the dogs, but other things come first, like not being broke. So maybe next tax refund. I still need to get things cleaned up in the flower gardens.

Well my train of thought went the way of the alcohol fairies so I’m going to end this. Laters! Savvy?

-Aislin

Down but not out.

A lot has happened this past year. I haven’t wrote much here because all I had to say was basically depressing. But though this still suck, they are also starting to look up some. First of all if things go right, I have a new job. It only took me a year to get one but I did. And no matter what my mom says, I was really trying to get one. This economy just flat sucks.

I’m looking forward to this new job. I am fully aware that it may be the most boring job since watching grass grow, but it will pay the bills and it works well with my sleep schedule. Hopefully it will be something solid and I might be able to move up thin the company some. I hope I’m comfortable enough with this company to stick with them for a long time. I don’t like the idea of any more job hunting in the future. I’ve learned on thing during this year. Because of my depression, house wife isn’t the occupation for me. I have to work outside the house to make myself stable. Sucks but that’s how it goes.

You know I hate that question they ask in interviews of where do you see yourself in 3 or 5 years. You really can’t answer that truthfully if your goal does not involve you working there. But I guess my truthful answer would be working at someplace solid that I want to stay with and having a farm. I know now I can not have a farm as my sole job and I  never really wanted that in the first place. I didn’t want strangers coming into my personal space. I just wanted a farm my way. So in the end I just want  a job I’m comfortable with that will make enough money to have my farm.

My car is on the short road to dead. So we have to replace it soon. Car payments yay –_- But there are a couple good prospects. But I might need to rent my mom’s car till we can get a new one. It’s not that my car doesn’t run, I just don’t want to risk it braking down on the way to work and getting me fired. Don’t want to fark up this job.

So there you go. There are some good and bad and a little of me reprioritizing things. I don’t know. It seems like a good goal to work somewhere till you retire. That’s all for now.

Laters! Savvy?

-Aislin

I’m aloud to say it.

I’m aloud to complain, or am I just being a whiny bitch? Pretty much the end of last year was shit and this year doesn’t seem to be getting any better. Last year I lost my job and got only disappointment from what few interviews I got. We had to find a new place to stay, so we had to take what we could get, which isn’t bad, but it’s not a farm. We had to sink our savings into our cars and this house, so even I got a halfway decent job now, we wouldn’t be able to get a farm. Brett is worried about losing his job, which he’s stressed at in the first place. We are just getting by and I am very thankful for that. I never wanted to be rich. I just wanted to make enough to be comfortable and own a farm. But I’m stuck. We own a house and that’s good. But I can’t put Katelin in the backyard. Makes we wonder if I’m going to have to board her all her life, or should I just give up and see if Ivy will take her. I just wonder where the future will take me. We really can’t afford to have kids right now, and how can I bring a kid in the world and let them dream, knowing it won’t come true. People are like, don’t think like that, your dream could still happen. But to me that seems like bullshit. I have lost my savings and if I do get a job again, it’s not likely I’ll make more than enough just to get by. Honestly if I can finally afford a farm after I turn 40 I’ll be pissed, because that is not the time to get a farm. I won’t have that many good physical years to keep up with the work and enjoy it and 40 is too old to start having kids. It just makes me want to scream.

The job market sucks. It’s flooded with the unemployed and I’m scared of getting another job, because I am scared of getting fired again. I’m scared to death of office jobs now. That and not being able to help Brett, is wearing me down. I have wonderful dreams then I wake up to reality and it hurts, so all I want to do is sleep and escape from it all. I lack the energy to do anything. I’m just tired and starting not to care. My meds can only do so much so I just have to deal.

Ah well. I better stop here. I have a headache and I’m crying now, at least I can cry again. It had dried up for awhile. Laters! Savvy?

-Aislin

Anyone for an ear pop?

I wish I could. I hate allergies. I really do. So yeah joy of being a grown up 192, sometimes your birthday will be a little messed up. No traditional dinner at Fujiyama that’s on hold till next month where it will be joined with Brett and I’s anniversary dinner. Two birds one stone deal. I will be having dinner with my parents and sis the Saturday after my birthday. That works though. No big hoopla over my birthday. I guess it’s better that way. Hopefully Lisa and I will be going to the international festival Sunday. It’s so nice of her to remember me on my birthday. Seems more that the older you get, the less people care about your birthday. I try to keep track of everyone’s birthday and at least give them a call or a card. Doesn’t always work out that way though.

This month has been tight, but we are surviving ok. I’ve had enough of not having a stove. I’m putting the kitchen on hold till spring. I’m going to clean up in there, get the shelves up , and get the frikkin’ stove in. I will see if I can recruit Lisa this spring to see if she will help me paint and put down the flooring. Next up after the kitchen is the bathroom. I can’t reno it completely any time soon, but I can knock the title off of the walls that aren’t the shower and paint and fix the water damage on the walls and floor and maybe laminate tile the floor too. That will give it a fresher look and hold it till we and get a new shower/tub put in.

Christmas is going to be tight this year. A lot of hand made stuff all around. I don’t even know what anyone wants anyway. All I want are Kawaii Neko Ears and blankets. Can never ever have enough blankets. Ever. I’m hoping to get enough money for my birthday to get my hair professionally dyed black. Mom says that if I try to do it myself, it won’t turn out right because my hair is so long, so I have to get it professionally done. She doesn’t want me to get it done at all, but I’m tried of worrying about that. It’s not going to kill me and if I get tired of it, I will have it dyed back to my original color. Honestly I was way too goody two shoes when I was growing up, while other kids were dying their hair and getting tats and piercings I was worried what my mom would do. I kept telling myself that when I was out on my own the first thing I would do is dye my hair black. Well I’ve been out on my own for 2 years now and it’s about damn time I keep my word to myself.

Been trying to take better care of myself. Not sure how that is working out. Going to try to dress up a bit more when I go out and start wearing at least some makeup again. I haven’t done one vlog yet. I kind of need to put makeup on first for it, and haven’t been brave enough to do that yet. I don’t want to throw my ugly face out there on the net without makeup. I’m nervous enough as it is. Hopefully after the Maze rd stuff is done the guys can get back to commentaries. They’ve been hitting rough patches as of late and I suggested getting on YouTube a bit might help them gain fans, so I’m going to use my new camera to help them with that. I love when I feel that I’m helping them out.

I thought about selling Avon, and I got little to no response from that. All my sister said was um, which I don’t take as good. I was just trying to find something that I could make a few bucks at on the side to help with things. Blarg. I don’t know what to do. Well I think I wrote enough for now. Laters! Savvy?

-Aislin