The mystery of the shrinking pants.

Well yesterday my biggest accomplishments were washing work clothes and washing enough dishes for dinner. That's pretty sad unto itself, but after such a relaxed weekend, I put on my most comfortable work pants only to find they weren't comfortable anymore. Instantly this raises the question, did my pants shrink, or did I balloon up this weekend? The thought of jumping up another pants size and not being able to fit into my larger pairs of pants makes me want to run out and by Alli or something similar. But I'm trying not to panic. I did eat a lot of salty stuff over the weekend. I also drank and didn't hydrate well enough. I also drank a lot of water before bed last night. So I wonder if that has anything to do with it. Not saying I don't need to lose weight, but I just can't afford to buy bigger clothes.

Financially we need to cut out the fast food anyway. The whole thing of being convenient, is a bad excuse and a further sign of me being lazy. Also, I'm drinking way too much pop, because it's again convenient. I'm hiding behind convenient way too much. I may not have the drive to work out everyday, but there are other things I can do to keep my weight down. I need to wash the dishes tonight and start cooking dinner again. I know how to cook healthy I've just been too lazy and been using Brett not being hungry as an excuse not to cook. I'm noticing a pattern of convince and excuses. These are apparently bad things in my life and I need to get rid of them.

Didn't mean to turn into a whine fest or my own personal pep talk. I'm sure you all find me odd. But I always seem to be at war with myself. I know what I want or need to do, but let excuses or being tired get in my way. Before my meds I would sit there and try to will myself to do something, like get out of bed, and nothing would happen. My meds bridged that gap between my brain and my body, I just have to put that to good use now. I don't know how many people have that problem of needing to be motivated or inspired to do something. But for 2 strait weeks I kept my room clean after I cleaned it and organized it. I would clean out the litter pan every night, sweep the litter and carpet fuzz from the pedestal up off the floor and even wipe down the sink after I used it. Then I stopped. I don't know why, I just slipped back into lazy.

It's so easy to slip into lazy, thinking I'll do it tomorrow, or if I had this it would be different. But it isn't different. Lazy is lazy and that's what my dad has been trying to tell me for years. Of course he takes his go to attitude too far which made me shy away from it, but the principal is the same. Yes, you could do it tomorrow, but it might be worse tomorrow and take twice as long, or something will come up, or you'll sleep the day away and not feel like doing it. I took not being forced to do things to my advantage when Brett and I moved in together, but there is no one to follow behind me and pick up the slack on my busy days. I just have to motivate myself and get it done.

Ok, I'm done with this long winded blog. I don't know how it switched from weight to laziness, but I feel better for posting it. I wish I had more exciting things to post for you. Laters! Savvy?

-Aislin