But I can't stop the rain.

Brett's MRI was a bust. They didn't find anything. Now he has a appointment with an orthopedist Tuesday. If that doesn't work, it's off to a sports medicine doctor. I don't know where else from there. Where's House, when you need him? Of course he would run a bunch of expensive tests, but he might find out quicker than all these doctors.

Brett's already getting tired of seeing doctors. Can't say that I blame him, but we have to find out what's wrong with him. I'm afraid of him calling it quits because of money. He said he would rather limp around in pain for the rest of his life, instead of draining our money to were we couldn't get a house. That kind of shocked me. I didn't know he felt that way. Then I wondered if it was because of me. I started re-evaluating my priorities. Was a farm more important than stopping him from being pain. If it took all my savings I would give it to make him better. We would work something out from there. He is more important to me than a farm or a house.

This whole thing is really starting to wear on him, along with all the other crap that's been happening. I feel sorry for him. I wish there was something I could do to make it all better, but I can't. I feel bad having him walking around looking at houses tonight, but it seems that he's going to still be in pain for awhile so putting it off isn't going to help. I just hope we have a good night, then we can go home and he can get off his leg by laying in the Steiner Recliner and surf the net on Lappy Gilmore, his new laptop. He's having to walk with a cane now. It's like I've got my own fuzzy House hobbling around.

That's all for now. Laters! Savvy?

-Aislin

The Real Folk Blues

Search for that song online. It's Cowboy Bebop's ending theme. You don't have to speak the language to get the feel of the song.

Yep that's how a feel right now. Becks is still not making good, we ended up getting stuck between them and the dealership. Stressed beyond belief, I called the Wookie. He fixes cars, more as a hobby than anything, but I trust him to know more about cars than I do. After a short explanation of what our current problem is. A fuel filter. After a question and answer session, he told us to trust the dealership. They are less likely to screw us over and know the most about the car. So we are back where we started. I doubt we will get any money back from Becks, but I'm tired of being jerked around and our savings drained due to sheer greed and stupidity.

Now comes ass rape number 2. Our insurance went up $30, along with a doubling of the copay amount. How much farther do they want me to bend over? *sigh* I did add Aflac's Cancer coverage. To keep us from another possible screwing, because if we don't have it, one of us would probably get it just out of the world's mere spite of us.

I know I sound bitter, but I'm tried of getting pushed down in the mud and kicked while I'm down. It's stressing Brett out too. We just got him to where he was feeling better and now he's stressing about all of this. He feels bad and keeps apologizing that I have to give up money for his car. He still thinks our savings is my savings. Yes it's in my account, but it's there for emergencies. I just would like for it not to be gone by the time we get a house.

Speaking of houses. We really can't skirt the edge on mortgage payments now that our pay has been fleeced by insurance. So our slim options are even slimmer.

He head honcho is going to be in town Tuesday and she wants me to work on my energy. Even my boss isn't clear on what that means. I sure hope she doesn't fire me because she doesn't like me. That will probably be the the straw that breaks the camel's back. Looks like I'm going to have to turn myself into a totally different person for the day. I hope I can make it through.

Well I'm going to get to cleaning up. She doesn't like the front area messy. Laters! Savvy?

-Aislin

Life is a boat.

Sometimes it's calm waters, other times some idiot comes by and rocks it and you end up falling in the drink.

But seriously I love the song 'Life Is A Boat' by Rei Fu, it's a good song. I'm loving my iPod. I listen to it at work, and I listened to it during the Indy Car race yesterday. I also listened to it on the way home. I was still buzzing good after drinking nearly a bottle of wine and Brett's parent's house so when Caramell Dansen came on Sakura I started dancing to it in the car. Eventually Brett told me to stop, because it was distracting. They should consider the Caramell Dansen dance a workout routine, because it wears you out an used a lot of your muscles.

Yesterday I went out with Ma (Brett's Mom) we drove by a house for sale that I wanted to look at. After that she drove me by one other place she saw and then we went to the book store and Target. At Target I got one of those big bag purses. It's white with big pink flowers on it. Ma said that it wasn't too fru fru. When I asked Brett about it, he said there is nothing wrong with girls having fru fru stuff. I do like the purse though. It's big and it doesn't look like I have as much stuff anymore. I could keep my makeup bag in there and still have a ton of room. That would imply I wear makeup on a regular basis, and I don't.

Ok, first we had Mad Cow Disease, then Bird Flu, now we have Swine Flu. For goddess sake, what's next Equine Flu? And you got to wonder how these things just pop up. If they were there all along and can spread so quickly, why haven't we attacked by it long before now? They say if you exhibit flu like symptoms that you should notify your doctor right away. Great, I bet every doctors office is flooded with calls of people thinking they have the Swine Flu.

Then there is the trend in Japan of wearing a surgical mask, to keep germs out, or in. Now Mexico has adopted it. I read an article about how it's almost a fashion statement in Japan, and they aren't sure it helps anything. Maybe it's like a placebo to these people, since they think they are protected, then they don't get sick. I really don't know. I saw a girl walking down the street the other day with a colored surgical mask. I'm all for following Japanese fashion, but I don't think that will catch on, and if you are doing it just for a fashion statement, well you've got problems. But of course growing up, there were some pretty weird fashion statements. *shudders*

Brett goes in for his MRI tomorrow. We've got to find out what's going on with his leg, before he turns into House. We are stopping by J's to get his earrings taken out. They really haven't been out since they were put in. This is going to be fun. After the great earring extraction, we are going to drive by a couple of house options. I'm currently waiting for my mortgage lady to call me back and let me know what Mortgage Insurance is, and why do I need it. Because that thing is making possible Mortgage payments that are livable, turn into OUCH. And I will have a real hard time convincing Brett to go with OUCH payments. And if that doesn't work out, then we fall into the desperate level of things. *sigh* Why is this never easy. If this keeps up we are going to end up living in a van down by they river. If we can't find anything with acreage, then we will have to looking into a cheap enough house where we can still afford to board Katelin. I would really hate to ask a family member for money to help with a down payment on a place, just so we can afford the payments. I'm betting on the van down by the river. Laters! Savvy?

-Aislin

Susie F'ing Homemaker.

She, I am not. It's really disappointing. I have a good cleaning ability and when I clean I go all out. But I can't seem to keep my house clean and I'm embarrassed by it. A woman who can clean my sister's house top to bottom, do her laundry and dishes. Take care of the cat pans and bird cages, can't manage to keep her house looking decent. What's wrong with me? I don't even feel like cooking anymore.

I'm getting so tired of not being able to find a good house for us. I'm starting to get a little desperate. I really have no clue what to do. It's like I have a wall in front of my face and I can't see what I'm supposed to be looking at.

I'm just not in a good place today, and I'm not sure anything will bring me out of it. I don't even if or what to make for supper. At this point I just don't care. I might just lay on the couch till Brett tells me to go to another room so he can sleep.

Sorry for the mopey post. Laters! Savvy?

-Aislin