I still miss him.

My grandpa that is. I dreamt about him yesterday. I’ve come to realize that’s his way of checking in on me. He knows I’m a sleeper and that way I can actually see him. The good part of the dream went on like a normal day at my grandparent’s house would be, then I realized that my grandpa is dead, yet in front of me. So I started crying, I hugged him, told him that I loved him, and that I miss him. After that the dream ended.

All this stuff with the new house is making me miss him more. He was such a Mr. Fix it that I would be able to ask him to walk me through a lot of this. I wonder if he would be proud of me. I miss his stories. I miss putting puzzles together with him. I miss how he would Hoover up any food you put in front of him.

My last memory of him when he was alive is him looking at me before I headed home after a visit. I said my goodbyes, but he stared into my eyes intently. I think he was saying that was the last time I was going to see him and that he was ok. I’ll never forget the look in his eyes and I’m thankful for that. It means a lot to me.

I do miss him so and it makes me happy that he comes and visits me from time to time. But that’s enough sappiness for the time being.

Laters! Savvy?

-Aislin

Let it all out.

Well we’re moved. Sorta. There are a few things that still need to be brought over, and the other place needs to be cleaned. So there is still moving type stuff to do.

This has been a whole big stressful experience. Brett knows I’ve been stressed out too. Coming home to me outside smoking a cigarillo and drinking a beer in the middle of the day is a pretty big sign that I’m stressed. It’s been stressful for him too. The only ones that have been taking this in stride are the animals. Funny huh? But other than Dipstick needing more exercise than we can give him at the moment, they are doing great.

We are going through a bit of a culture shock moving to a smaller place. We are still trying to figure out where to put all our stuff. We will get it all figured out though. Things are not complete yet though. I just got the dog gates hung today and I still need to put latches on them. The kitchen walls need to be sanded and painted before we can lay the new floor, before we can set up the pantry shelves, before we can bring the stove and fridge in. The living room needs to be sanded then painted. The lawn seriously needs to be mowed. But the weird thing is, is how cold it’s been getting. It makes me wonder how hard of a winter we are going to have.

I do like the house, I’m just getting overwhelmed by all the stuff that needs to be fixed and me not having the money right now to fix it. I’ve already made changes and compromises that I really didn’t want to just because I didn’t have the money to do what I wanted. This place is supposed to be an investment, but it right now seems like a money pit that I’ll never get my money back on, let alone make a profit off of. But I’m putting in a lot of sweat equity into this place, I just hope it pays off.

Not being able to find a job right now is really wearing on me. I’m looking and trying, but I’ve only had one real interview so far. It’s driving me nuts and I’m worrying about what is going to happen in the future.

I can’t say that life is horrid right now. It’s just really stressful. I’ll get through it and be ready for the next problem.

Laters! Savvy?

-Aislin