Ups and downs. I guess that’s life.

Ok. I’m writing this while drinking my 3rd Guinness so bear with me on this.

First of all I’ll start with the downs. I don’t want sympathy and I don’t want to talk about it so I’m getting it out once and for all. We have been barely getting by. Living paycheck to paycheck and slowly draining our savings. So I had to make one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make. I’m giving up my horse Katelin. Though I haven’t failed to pay her board, I can’t pay the vet bills if she gets sick or hurt so that is not good for her or responsible ownership. Though all I have ever wanted was a horse and a farm, I must do what is best for her. Brett says that maybe all my role in Katelin’s life was to save her and that’s it. Maybe that’s true, but nothing will take the pain of giving her up go away. I have to do it and that’s all I’m going to say about that.

The ups. Our tax check came in so our savings is back to good. The bills are all paid up and we can now replaced me poor car. We are waiting for a start date on my new job to move forward on a car, but we are close. We are looking at a steal of a little red Chevy manual hatchback. If we are supposed to have it, it will be ours. If not, we will find something. So that’s something to look forward to. I would have liked to have a fenced yard for the dogs, but other things come first, like not being broke. So maybe next tax refund. I still need to get things cleaned up in the flower gardens.

Well my train of thought went the way of the alcohol fairies so I’m going to end this. Laters! Savvy?

-Aislin

Down but not out.

A lot has happened this past year. I haven’t wrote much here because all I had to say was basically depressing. But though this still suck, they are also starting to look up some. First of all if things go right, I have a new job. It only took me a year to get one but I did. And no matter what my mom says, I was really trying to get one. This economy just flat sucks.

I’m looking forward to this new job. I am fully aware that it may be the most boring job since watching grass grow, but it will pay the bills and it works well with my sleep schedule. Hopefully it will be something solid and I might be able to move up thin the company some. I hope I’m comfortable enough with this company to stick with them for a long time. I don’t like the idea of any more job hunting in the future. I’ve learned on thing during this year. Because of my depression, house wife isn’t the occupation for me. I have to work outside the house to make myself stable. Sucks but that’s how it goes.

You know I hate that question they ask in interviews of where do you see yourself in 3 or 5 years. You really can’t answer that truthfully if your goal does not involve you working there. But I guess my truthful answer would be working at someplace solid that I want to stay with and having a farm. I know now I can not have a farm as my sole job and I  never really wanted that in the first place. I didn’t want strangers coming into my personal space. I just wanted a farm my way. So in the end I just want  a job I’m comfortable with that will make enough money to have my farm.

My car is on the short road to dead. So we have to replace it soon. Car payments yay –_- But there are a couple good prospects. But I might need to rent my mom’s car till we can get a new one. It’s not that my car doesn’t run, I just don’t want to risk it braking down on the way to work and getting me fired. Don’t want to fark up this job.

So there you go. There are some good and bad and a little of me reprioritizing things. I don’t know. It seems like a good goal to work somewhere till you retire. That’s all for now.

Laters! Savvy?

-Aislin