Monday, April 28, 2014

Eat to Live, or Live to Eat?

Has it really been almost 2 years since I last posted? So much has happened. But back to the subject.
 
The subject has been talked about so much. Americans often have been criticized about living to eat. Even people like Cassey Ho talk about eating healthier foods. But let's face it. Food is yummy. It's one of the more affordable luxuries out there. Yes there is a lot to be said about portion control. But the way life works for the average American, we usually only get one good meal out of the day. We hit the ground running in the morning. Lunch is often short or rushed. So we try to make up for that lack of time to really sit down to eat, by pigging out. Also there is the too tired or not enough time to really make something good problem at night also. So we often go for quick and unhealthy. In large quantities, since we have been unintentionally starving ourselves all day. But this is the time when they say you should eat lighter. But we all know that's hard and a little unfair because of all the reasons I mentioned. Yes I lost weight when I ate a healthy breakfast and lunch. But I still ate most of my food intake at night. The only reason I ate a decent breakfast then, was because I was working at a school cafeteria. It was torture on an empty stomach. I found myself snatching food destined for the trash that was still in the pans I was going to wash. Eating before work curbed that, but I got up so much earlier to be able to eat, that I was miserable. I know there are people that get up way early because they want to work on their looks before work or school. I'm more of a roll out of be and get ready quickly person. Then there are my current jobs. Breaks are not always an option and could be interrupted 500 times. Not really ideal to have a good meal. One of my jobs there is only a microwave to prepare food with. No water. Nothing else. I usually just bring a sandwich. I use to bring soup to my one job, which is healthy, but I rarely have time to eat it. So I usually end up grabbing something quick and unhealthy there. Not good for my body or wallet. I would love to have a cute little yummy bento to eat for lunch. But that requires time and effort I don’t have.
 
Here’s the story. I have Fibromyalgia. Not as bad as most. But bad enough to screw up some things in my life. Long story short, when I get home I’m beat. There isn’t much left in me. If I push myself too hard, I go down. I can’t afford to lose time at work, so I baby myself. Maybe a bit too much. I come home. Pop something quick in the microwave and cruse the net till bedtime. I don’t have it in me to make a decent meal. Even on days off when I have a million things to do, I end up sleeping all day. I do like working out, but getting the energy to do it doesn’t happen often. I tend to over do it when I do work out, as kind of making up for lost time. I would like to work out after work, but sometimes I’m worthless the next day if I do. In a perfect world, I would get up on time. I would eat a good breakfast. I would put on makeup and do my hair. And get to work early. Then after work, I would go work out. When I get home, I would take a shower, make myself a good dinner, and do a few chores. But it isn’t a perfect world and I’m just tired.
 
But back to what I was originally saying. For a while I was using My Fitness Pal it started to get frustrating. Like I was shaming myself for eating more than what I was allotted. I couldn’t eat whatever I wanted, or very much of it. Because it would go over my calories. It seemed unfair. I would pour through menus trying to find something I could eat. Not what I wanted to eat, but what I could. I like bacon. I love my grandma’s fried chicken. Yes there are alternative ways to make chicken, but it’s not the same flavor. It’s hard to be satisfied when you crave the flavor, and can’t get it. Some people show their healthy meals on Instagram or Facebook and I look at it and not find it appetizing at all. I’ve been told I can have the foods I crave if I eat them in smaller amounts. That takes a lot of will power. Because you want more. If it’s there, you want to finish it. I’ve been told drink a lot of water before you eat. Fill up on veggies or a salad. I don’t have time to pee every 10 min. And the veggies/salad isn’t always available. I’m working on a healthier tweak on my favorite foods, but I haven’t been able to do that of late. I’m stuck in a poor man’s, retail worker’s rut. If I can figure it all out, I will share it. But right now I’m wandering frustrated, over weight, and hungry. Who else feels me?
 
Laters! Savvy?
 
-Aislin