Aislin’s Day Off

Ok maybe I should start earlier than today. See I got a burr up my ass and I wanted a change so I decided to cut my hair. So yesterday I went to my mom and she cut my hair.
 
Yep I really had her cut it. She took 14in off. All of which are going to Locks of Love. The end result is this.
 
Quite a change. So lets go on to today. I got up this morning and sent my Brett Brett off to work. Then I decided to lay back down, since I was tired. I slept till about noon and then got up to get ready to go see my sis.
 
Instead of having to brush out and braid my hair, I just ran a brush through it real quick and this was the result. Cool huh? I was surprised.

I ran out the door to go see my sis at her work, stopping to get some Starbucks on the way. Mmmm Starbucks.

Then my sis put gel overlays on my nails to strengthen them up so they will grow out more. The only problem is that my knuckles have been hurting me so the ached the whole time. Don’t they look pretty.

After that we were hungry so we went over to KFC to get lunch. I saved the biscuit for Brett since it wasn’t part of my diet.

After that I had to go to the barn and clean stalls. It isn’t that cold yet, I still worked up a sweat cleaning a few stalls.

On my way home I stopped off at Marsh and got groceries. See how neatly everything fits in the back of Shamrock. ^_^

So after I got home I had wash the sweat off from working out at the barn so I took a shower, while my Brett Brett told me about his day. I brushed out my hair and it did it’s curly thing.

So that’s my day off in a nutshell. Tomorrow I have to be in at work at the butt-crack of dawn. It’s kind of sad but at least I had a good day.

Also I have a new food blog, Cook Healthy or Die Hard. Go check it out. Laters! Savvy?

-Aislin

Once again into the land of retail.

So yeah, now that I’m working in retail again I remember how it use to be. The tiredness. The what day is it. The back pain that makes me a massage junkie. But yet I’m comfortable with it. I’m worn out. Getting use to working again. Working out at the barn. Trying and failing to keep up with things around the house. I gave up a day off to get more hours, which makes me grumpy. But I’ll survive.

I went up and saw my grandma. Her birthday is Friday, so I wanted to go spend some time with her. The sink is messed up again. Need to fix it. I also need to tame the jungle that is our flower bed. So much to do, not enough time or energy to do it. Sooo tired. Laters! Savvy?

-Aislin

Oppressive Humidity

That’s what the weather channel describes the humidity in our area as. It’s so bad that our little window air conditioner is spitting water because of condensation.

I have to be at work early tomorrow so I have to keep this short. I have a new job. I’m also working part time cleaning stalls to board Katelin so I don’t have to get rid of her. Though her vet bill from moving her was not nice at all.

I’m still hyped a little from work. I’m working retail again and part-time, but at least it’s something.

Well that’s about all. Time to go wash my face, brush my teeth and hope I can get to sleep fairly quickly. Why am I never tired at night even after a 8 hour shift? Laters! Savvy?

-Aislin

Ups and downs. I guess that’s life.

Ok. I’m writing this while drinking my 3rd Guinness so bear with me on this.

First of all I’ll start with the downs. I don’t want sympathy and I don’t want to talk about it so I’m getting it out once and for all. We have been barely getting by. Living paycheck to paycheck and slowly draining our savings. So I had to make one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make. I’m giving up my horse Katelin. Though I haven’t failed to pay her board, I can’t pay the vet bills if she gets sick or hurt so that is not good for her or responsible ownership. Though all I have ever wanted was a horse and a farm, I must do what is best for her. Brett says that maybe all my role in Katelin’s life was to save her and that’s it. Maybe that’s true, but nothing will take the pain of giving her up go away. I have to do it and that’s all I’m going to say about that.

The ups. Our tax check came in so our savings is back to good. The bills are all paid up and we can now replaced me poor car. We are waiting for a start date on my new job to move forward on a car, but we are close. We are looking at a steal of a little red Chevy manual hatchback. If we are supposed to have it, it will be ours. If not, we will find something. So that’s something to look forward to. I would have liked to have a fenced yard for the dogs, but other things come first, like not being broke. So maybe next tax refund. I still need to get things cleaned up in the flower gardens.

Well my train of thought went the way of the alcohol fairies so I’m going to end this. Laters! Savvy?

-Aislin

Down but not out.

A lot has happened this past year. I haven’t wrote much here because all I had to say was basically depressing. But though this still suck, they are also starting to look up some. First of all if things go right, I have a new job. It only took me a year to get one but I did. And no matter what my mom says, I was really trying to get one. This economy just flat sucks.

I’m looking forward to this new job. I am fully aware that it may be the most boring job since watching grass grow, but it will pay the bills and it works well with my sleep schedule. Hopefully it will be something solid and I might be able to move up thin the company some. I hope I’m comfortable enough with this company to stick with them for a long time. I don’t like the idea of any more job hunting in the future. I’ve learned on thing during this year. Because of my depression, house wife isn’t the occupation for me. I have to work outside the house to make myself stable. Sucks but that’s how it goes.

You know I hate that question they ask in interviews of where do you see yourself in 3 or 5 years. You really can’t answer that truthfully if your goal does not involve you working there. But I guess my truthful answer would be working at someplace solid that I want to stay with and having a farm. I know now I can not have a farm as my sole job and I  never really wanted that in the first place. I didn’t want strangers coming into my personal space. I just wanted a farm my way. So in the end I just want  a job I’m comfortable with that will make enough money to have my farm.

My car is on the short road to dead. So we have to replace it soon. Car payments yay –_- But there are a couple good prospects. But I might need to rent my mom’s car till we can get a new one. It’s not that my car doesn’t run, I just don’t want to risk it braking down on the way to work and getting me fired. Don’t want to fark up this job.

So there you go. There are some good and bad and a little of me reprioritizing things. I don’t know. It seems like a good goal to work somewhere till you retire. That’s all for now.

Laters! Savvy?

-Aislin

I’m aloud to say it.

I’m aloud to complain, or am I just being a whiny bitch? Pretty much the end of last year was shit and this year doesn’t seem to be getting any better. Last year I lost my job and got only disappointment from what few interviews I got. We had to find a new place to stay, so we had to take what we could get, which isn’t bad, but it’s not a farm. We had to sink our savings into our cars and this house, so even I got a halfway decent job now, we wouldn’t be able to get a farm. Brett is worried about losing his job, which he’s stressed at in the first place. We are just getting by and I am very thankful for that. I never wanted to be rich. I just wanted to make enough to be comfortable and own a farm. But I’m stuck. We own a house and that’s good. But I can’t put Katelin in the backyard. Makes we wonder if I’m going to have to board her all her life, or should I just give up and see if Ivy will take her. I just wonder where the future will take me. We really can’t afford to have kids right now, and how can I bring a kid in the world and let them dream, knowing it won’t come true. People are like, don’t think like that, your dream could still happen. But to me that seems like bullshit. I have lost my savings and if I do get a job again, it’s not likely I’ll make more than enough just to get by. Honestly if I can finally afford a farm after I turn 40 I’ll be pissed, because that is not the time to get a farm. I won’t have that many good physical years to keep up with the work and enjoy it and 40 is too old to start having kids. It just makes me want to scream.

The job market sucks. It’s flooded with the unemployed and I’m scared of getting another job, because I am scared of getting fired again. I’m scared to death of office jobs now. That and not being able to help Brett, is wearing me down. I have wonderful dreams then I wake up to reality and it hurts, so all I want to do is sleep and escape from it all. I lack the energy to do anything. I’m just tired and starting not to care. My meds can only do so much so I just have to deal.

Ah well. I better stop here. I have a headache and I’m crying now, at least I can cry again. It had dried up for awhile. Laters! Savvy?

-Aislin